1. |
Tumble Dried Cock
01:26
|
|||
I stopped washing my uncircumcised cock
In the shower a long time ago
It's such an ineffective way
Of cleaning your ding-a-dong
What I do is cut it off
Wash it well and sew it back
Stop carrying a stinky cock
Wash your dick the redpilled way
You'll no longer feel the pain
Once you've done it a couple times
Take the dullest knife you have
Amputate your fucking cock
Once I've severed my four inch hose
I scratch all the dick cheese off
Handwash it with Marseille soap
Then I throw it in the washing machine
And watch it go round and round
For two hours and a half
It comes out soaked and shrunk
Looking like some snake's shed skin
I tumble dry it for three hours
I don't care about the environment
And then I go to the hospital
To get my penis sewed back
|
||||
2. |
||||
Having a large penis is a feminine trait
Having sex for pleasure is a feminine trait
Having sex at all is a feminine trait
The average erect penis size is four inches
Imagine not sleeping on the bare floor naked
Imagine not taking cold showers at 5am
Imagine not basing your entire diet on military MREs
Imagine not keeping a rock inside your shoe at all times
I base my entire personality on the following people:
Anton Chigurh from No Country for Old Men
Patrick Bateman from American Psycho
Ryan Gosling in Drive and Blade Runner
Saint Francis of Assisi
|
||||
3. |
Butthole Inspector
01:18
|
|||
Here is the butthole inspector
Here is the butthole inspector
Butthole inspector, here's my ID
I require to see
Everyone's anus immediately
Do what I say or I'll give you a penalty (2x)
Color: Check; Hygiene: Check; Wrinkles: Check; Hair: Check
Congratulations on your asshole maintenance, guys
No hemorrhoids or other issues detected
Very healthy anuses indeed
May I suggest a grooming routine
Just to make sure everything stays alright (2x)
I couldn't help but notice that some of you
Have gone through anal bleachig treatments
The safety of such treatments is yet to be proved
But I have to admit it looks really cool
|
If you like Mutilated Judge, you may also like:
Bandcamp Daily your guide to the world of Bandcamp